Keep Your Head Up, Keep Your Heart Strong, Keep Your Mind Set, Keep Your Hair Long.
Hey To start off this conversation, I will be honest to everyone who is reading this. I am terrified of life. I'm scared as hell of what is about to come or how I'm going to feel after these next few months. So bear with me as I unfold to you my life from the last couple of months. But first, I want to say Thank you for being here.
When I first moved to San Francisco, I knew it would be hard. What I didn't expect to live with someone who is physical and emotional abusive towards her partner. She has a split personality disorder, so her mood can change within a second. One night I heard a scream at 3 A.M (kinda like the ones you hear in those scary movies with a human chasing another human with a knife.) I didn't know if I needed to call the cops that night. I was stuck inside my room in the middle of SF while my roommate is trying to kill her boyfriend in his sleep. THIS IS TERRIFYING. You're probably thinking "what the heck, get out of there." Truth is, I couldn't get out of my lease because I had no proof that she is doing this. There are days when I would come home to find knifes on the floor or broken mirrors. I think my state of mind was just as broken as those mirrors. During this suffering, I completely lost all my humanity. I've moved in with a crazy one, the guy I was dating at the time dumped me on valentine's day, AND to top it off, I didn't get the job that I thought I wanted. Now you know why I've been absent for the past few months. After a while, things started to turn around, I'm working for a company that has the same value as me. Helping dreamers become do-ers, enriching lives is the term that everyone seem to use very very often. I ran my first half marathon and finished it, I met a magnificent human who helped me find my humanity while I was so caught up in life and taking all L's. Let's just say, I know nothing about this human. But when he flew out of the U.S, my heart might have stopped a little due to that I was sobbing so much I couldn't breath (mouth breather over here.) I was swooning for months over this human, even booked a flight to a foreign country to spend time with this person. ( That is completely stupid, never do this for anyone. Promise me this?) And here I am, again, lost all my humanity, because I found out that the human that I've had my mind-set on for, is now in a relationship with someone. Yikes, I know I have great hair, but I just don't think I could be Becky with the good hair. With that being said, I still think the world of this human. He's a lovely fella & still want to go on this trip. I just decided that it would be best to soul search alone.
See how 2017 is such a shitty year? Yeah, If you're taking L's like I am this year, let's get a freaking drink. So here I am, stuck and too emotionally drained to make any decisions. Humanity is out the door.
So now is the good part. I need your advise on how to do this. Comment below.
Sorry for having more feels than fashion. My dress is from Shein.