It was an evening night during November in the middle of North Beach right in front of a pizza shop called Acqoulina where I met the love of my life, Christian. I remember walking up to him, nervous and a little tipsy. Just before I left my house to go on this date with C, my roommate looked at me and said " I think he's the one." I didn't think much of it because I was really trying to work on myself and loving myself during these months (and a free dinner because I was poor coming back from a month of backpacking in New Zealand.. LOL). I walked out feeling a little bit odd, so I went to the nearest bar and had a few glasses of wine. I remember walking up to him thinking WOW, I'm going to shit my pants because he is so freaking handsome. During dinner, he asked me if I was nervous and said "no." Following with the answer to that question, I choked, because I was just swooning so hard over this man that is now mine. I remember looking at him, and saying "lets go on an adventure, We can grab a bottle of champagne and head over to the Marine Headland to watch the Golden Gate Bridge glow up at night." He smiled, and said "lets do it." At this point I was about four glass deep but I trusted him enough not to take advantage of me. We headed over to the mountains, sat on a bench and chugged the bottle of Champagne. I was honestly so drunk at this point and went in for the kiss. Yeah, I made the first move. But lets be honest, I live in the non gender city. So making the first move was something normal to me. The night didn't end yet. We headed back to North Beach, to a bar and drank some more. It was about almost 2 A.M and I had work at 7. We had so much fun that we didn't want the night to end. After realizing that it was getting super late, we had to part ways. He picked me up from work the next day and the day after that. Right then, I knew he was the one. Consistently chasing after my heart and wanting to spend as much time with me as he can during his finals, was the sweetest thing ever. I went on a weekend get away with my friends to Yosemite the same week, and I missed him the whole time. Coming back to San Francisco was super exciting for me because I knew I'll see him again. The first night that I got in, he met me at the bar. I was already drunk because there's something about him that made me nervous. I remember when he walked up to me, I whisper in his ears that I'm madly in love with him. He looked at me and said. " I love you too." Reminding you this is like day six of seeing each other, and we both felt the same way. He asked me the first big question..."Do you want me to be your boyfriend?" I LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. But thought it was pretty cute. Of course I said yes, because we're here today on our one year anniversary. Christian is everything to me and much more. He completes me. Not because I was missing a piece of myself when I met him. But I was completely myself when I met him. He challenges me and he cheers for me during my toughest time. In every fight we ever had, he always made sure I knew that I was loved. He is the one, and he is the one for me. No matter how tough our lives might be, We fight for each other. Because its forever.
Someone once said "Falling into the right relationship happens quickly. It's someone looking at you and it just feels different. It's someone taking your hand, and you're not scared to follow their lead. Falling into the right relationship means your text gets answered quickly. And plans are something they follow with. It's their word you can trust when in the past you were doubtful of everyone. Falling into he right relationship means falling together and knowing you're not the only one. It's the conversations that are sometimes difficult but you talk things out. It's not needing the time and attention of someone else because you know one person is enough. It's a future you're not uncertain of and a past that suddenly doesn't matter anymore. It's the goodbye you want to prolong. The five more minutes in bed. It's the "text me when you get home safely." Falling into the right relationship is about the little moments that begin to mean everything. It's the dinner that they grab your hand across the table. It's when you toss and turn at night and they pull you in closer. It's a look at a party and neither of you need to say more because you're thinking the same thing. It's looking at someone and just knowing even if you're scared or doubtful or unsure that just maybe, this time, you won't get hurt."
This is exactly HOW IT SHOULD FEEL. I remember writing this draft the first time, I was trying to compare my last few relationships to this one. But to be quite honest, nothing can compare to the way Christian treats me. He sees me as who I am. How he lays down with me and wipe all my tears. He is the absolute most. So if you're just getting over a relationship, I just want you to know, YOU DESERVE SOMEONE LIKE C. You deserve to be looked at like no one else in this world exists. You should be woken up by the love of your life with a warm kiss on your forehead. It should make you sing in the shower and dance around the house. It's the overwhelming "hurry up driver" feeling on your way to see him. It's the hardest goodbye and the million conversations dreaming about a future together. It's the I can't wait to marry you one day screaming kind of feeling. It's the looking into his eyes and knowing he feels the same way you feel about him. This is what you deserve.
Hello Friends, Thank you for stopping by. I hope you enjoy this message about San Francisco.
I miss it, I miss it without knowing it, because I wished it away. I miss the small seven by seven city filled with people living on top of each other. I miss the wind that comes down from a beautiful skyscraper after praying for the sun for the last 5 days. I miss the busy streets filled with those annoying toursy people that came from all over the world just to see the Golden Gate Bridge. I miss sitting on the balcony watching all the cars pass by as they struggle to make it through the hilly streets of San Francisco. I miss walking down Columbus street and see the flashing lights; begging you to consume all the carbs you can eat in North Beach. I miss riding the bus full of old asian people that think they own the city since you're in their hood, If you take the 30(bus) to work, you know it rolls straight through China town. I miss parks filled with under age kids sitting on a blanket that they borrowed from their parents as they rolled their joint and their friends are stumbling with a can of blue mountains on it. I miss those long lines of waiting for ice cream when the weather is 55 degrees outside. I miss the long walks through the Golden Gate Park to make it to the beach before sunset. I miss sitting on top of a hill called Dolores Park that people have gatherings to celebrate birthdays or to celebrate a community of gay men that we adore as they shake their booties and lip sing to Brittney Spears. I miss standing on top of the highest peak in San Francisco called Twin Peaks as the city give us the warmest glow before dawn. I miss those long bus rides with my AirPods in, listening to my favorite tunes or a great podcast. I miss the mobile orders from Starbucks in the A.M because if you truly live in San Francisco... you know that waiting in line for coffee will make you late to work. I miss the messy street called Market in FiDi filled with homeless people that are struggling to make it through the next day because life is messy sometimes. I miss going to the Farmers Market on Embarcadero every Saturday morning. There's great cold brew from Sightglass and fresh picked strawberries from a farm nearby. I miss riding my bike across the Golden Gate bridge to Sausalito to get a baguette drenched in olive oil. I miss correcting the visitors calling San Francisco, "San Fran." Sorry but we don't call Kansas City, "Kan City." So when you visit our city, don't caption us as San Fran. (: I miss picnic dates with Chris at Alamo square as we pull out three different cheese and a bottle of wine while everyone around us is jamming out to "everywhere you look." I miss all the familiar faces with a heart stopping story that walk through the biggest sliding glass doors in Union Square ready to be enriched by heroes in a blue shirts. I can't believe I'm saying this but I miss Karl the fog that rolls in from the beach. Thats right, even our Fog has a name. I miss the need to have a side hustle because everyone knows that one job is not enough to afford rent in a place we call home. I didn't realize this was my home until I moved away. But now you might realize that this is home, for the people of San Francisco. Not everyone that stops by, stays forever, not even you. I guess whoever said I left my heart in San Francisco was right. My happy heart never left SF since the day I stepped on the grounds of the seven by seven mile city over 2 years ago.
Twin Peaks at sunset or sunrise
Golden Gate Bridge (it's better on the Marin Headlands side)
Dolores for a picnic picture
Haight and Asbury for the famous SF homes.
Lands End (MY FAVORITE PLACE) it has a little of a Big Sur feel
Embarcadero for the city skyline
The corner of Columbus St and Kearny
Golden Gate Park (if you want an outdoorsy look)
California st. & Taylor st
Kirby Cove (If you want one of those swing photos)
Mona Lisa (Pasta)
Betty Lou's (Pasta)
Réveille Cafe (Brunch) They have the best French toast
Park Tavern (North Beach)
El Techo (Mexican + VIEWS)
Mixt (Salads, its the bomb)
Rooster & Rice (I can eat this everyday.)
Z & Y (Chinese)
House of Nanking (Chinese)
Soul (Greek food) BEST FREAKING CHICKEN!!!
Mr. Holmes (Bakery, go at 7 A.M)
Mezcalito (Polk St)
The Tipsy Pig (Marina District)
Campus (Marina District)
Jaxson (Marina District)
Cultivar (Marina District)
The View (FIDI)
Pagan Idol (FIDI)
83 Proof (FIDI)
Brass Tracks (Hayes Valley)
Fig & Thistle (Hayes Valley)
The Riddler (Hayes Valley) Also FREE POPCORN!!!
Grant and Green Saloon (North Beach)
The Saloon (North Beach)
GOOD MORNING WORLD!
Happiest belated Fashion Week! This trip started out pretty awful to be honest. None of my clothes came in on time or they messed up my order. My flight got canceled while I'm stuck in Atlanta. I ended up taking a 13 hour flight to Long Island and took an hour Uber ride into New York. They also lost my luggage a few times! BUT ALL WORTH IT BC NYFW! I needed to vent so you guys can feel my pain. I felt like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex in the City even though shit it the fan. The links to all my outfits are down at the bottom! Click on the photo to buy!
Keep Your Head Up, Keep Your Heart Strong, Keep Your Mind Set, Keep Your Hair Long.
Hey To start off this conversation, I will be honest to everyone who is reading this. I am terrified of life. I'm scared as hell of what is about to come or how I'm going to feel after these next few months. So bear with me as I unfold to you my life from the last couple of months. But first, I want to say Thank you for being here.
When I first moved to San Francisco, I knew it would be hard. What I didn't expect to live with someone who is physical and emotional abusive towards her partner. She has a split personality disorder, so her mood can change within a second. One night I heard a scream at 3 A.M (kinda like the ones you hear in those scary movies with a human chasing another human with a knife.) I didn't know if I needed to call the cops that night. I was stuck inside my room in the middle of SF while my roommate is trying to kill her boyfriend in his sleep. THIS IS TERRIFYING. You're probably thinking "what the heck, get out of there." Truth is, I couldn't get out of my lease because I had no proof that she is doing this. There are days when I would come home to find knifes on the floor or broken mirrors. I think my state of mind was just as broken as those mirrors. During this suffering, I completely lost all my humanity. I've moved in with a crazy one, the guy I was dating at the time dumped me on valentine's day, AND to top it off, I didn't get the job that I thought I wanted. Now you know why I've been absent for the past few months. After a while, things started to turn around, I'm working for a company that has the same value as me. Helping dreamers become do-ers, enriching lives is the term that everyone seem to use very very often. I ran my first half marathon and finished it, I met a magnificent human who helped me find my humanity while I was so caught up in life and taking all L's. Let's just say, I know nothing about this human. But when he flew out of the U.S, my heart might have stopped a little due to that I was sobbing so much I couldn't breath (mouth breather over here.) I was swooning for months over this human, even booked a flight to a foreign country to spend time with this person. ( That is completely stupid, never do this for anyone. Promise me this?) And here I am, again, lost all my humanity, because I found out that the human that I've had my mind-set on for, is now in a relationship with someone. Yikes, I know I have great hair, but I just don't think I could be Becky with the good hair. With that being said, I still think the world of this human. He's a lovely fella & still want to go on this trip. I just decided that it would be best to soul search alone.
See how 2017 is such a shitty year? Yeah, If you're taking L's like I am this year, let's get a freaking drink. So here I am, stuck and too emotionally drained to make any decisions. Humanity is out the door.
So now is the good part. I need your advise on how to do this. Comment below.
Sorry for having more feels than fashion. My dress is from Shein.
Hello. You are here. YOU ARE HERE, I SAID! And now that you're here, I must warn you: I’ve prepared myself to get real with you. This isn’t your average fashion or lifestyle blog post, this is about LIFE and how we're getting through this together. This will basically be the adult version of a sabby Xanga post. You are here. So be here with me.
My hands were trembling & my heart was racing, the voice in my head was questioning everything. I asked myself over and over, “how could this possibly be true?” It was a sickening feeling, like I was about to throw up my feelings. Who is with me on this? I hope someone can relate with me here because this was me last week in my apartment, panicked in the middle of San Francisco.
Let me backtrack a little and rewind to 9 months ago. I was in an unhealthy relationship. I thought he was “the one” for me and those feelings that I was just describing to you, I felt that on more than one occasion. Actually the feeling has appeared at least 4 times in my life and it’s deadening, if not, completing irksome. But here I am with you, still breathing. After a difficult summer of never wanting to wake up I decided I wanted to run. Not physically run like Forest Gump because I'm not a strong runner, however, you should come support me run a half marathon at the OKC memorial marathon this April because you really don't want to miss out on me crawling to the finishing line… Anyways, so I ran. I ran away to SF without confronting my feelings, never wanting to deal with them again.
When I was in OKC, my heart was full of pain and remorse... But as my time in OKC drew closer to an end, I started to regret my decision to move away. I still remember driving around the city listening to "Keep Your Head Up" by Ben Howard, reflecting on friendships and just about everything that kept me sane in OKC. Then it happened, my last day arrived on January 1st. So I walked around OKC saying goodbye, not only to friends but to the city that held my heart when I was at my lowest.
Now, I am here and so are you. It is very possible that you're also at this point in your life with me, where waking up is super hard and going to bed at night is even harder than getting up at 5 A.M to go to work hungover. I'm telling you this because I've experienced it before and have one important thing to say in conclusion to your time here with me: TO HELL WITH THE MEN WHO LEAD YOU ON. You do not deserve to have a restless feeling restricting you from living your life. Go do something that makes you so happy, that gives you the kind of joy you can feel in your bones. You’ll get through this because this is your life. You're going to get crushed at least ten more times in your life. But don't depend on others to fulfill your happiness. Rely on yourself, because at the end of the day, Nothing in this galaxy will complete you. So don't let the men who don’t matter define you because you are strong, and you are important. Don't let a guy ruin your mission on earth. Your mission to be strong not only for yourself, but for your friends, family, & for God's purpose for you.. When the voices in your head lie about how truly strong you are just remember... "Keep Your Head up, Keep Your Heart Strong, Keep Your Mind Set, Keep Your Hair Long." DON'T GIVE UP. Wear black if you have to, be a boss ass bitch that you are. Don't let your feelings dictate who you are! You will be OK, and I am here with you. From girl boss to girl boss.
Shout out to Khoa for these photos!
One thing that never stops is time. How crazy that you can never go back to that one moment when......
Sometimes it's good to just have a watch on you so you can disconnect yourself from the world because time never stops moving and you want to be present. I'm excited to share this Jord Watch with you all! It keeps me off of my phone and live in the moments that I can never have back. Thanks to Jord Wood Watch for keeping the clock running because the future is exciting and unwritten.
Click on the last photo of this blog to link yourself to the Wood Watch Site! Peace and blessn
Wrap dress are a true blessing from God because skinny. I haven't been able to run due to the cuts on my legs that are forever scars. This is something that I will have to live with forever. At first It was a little a difficult to acclimate myself to my new layer of skin because I absolutely hate scars. However, I've learned to love them because they are a reminder that I can still walk and that I need to appreciate that. This garden warp dress from LuLu's has given me confidence when there is none left in me. Dress it down or dress it up. This dress will let you do everything!!!
Happy October Love! It is time to bring out the denims! Finding the perfect denim jacket is pretty tough. This month I'm going for a simple and easy look. This piece can be paired with almost anything in your closet! it is a must have for this fall especially if you're going to a festival or a concert that is outdoors. This could be worn at all times and if it gets a little hot, its super cute around the waist! I Tagged a couple of my favorite jean jackets at the bottom for you!
Oh Thank God You're Here! It is Privy and Peonies one year.
To the Humans of Oklahoma and others, I appreciate the support that you have given Privy and Peonies in the past year. I'm excited to announce that I'll be Transplanting to a new city, San Francisco. My love for Oklahoma City has been my stable ground for the last six years, I'm excited to see how our city grows while I'm gone. We've already come so far in the restoration of this city, by putting it back on the map! ! With that being said, I'm sure you guys want to know what I'm wearing. For every Birthday, Holiday and social gathering, Free People has a dress dedicated in its honor. So while you're getting your NYE kiss ready, remember to order a fun and flirty FP dress. This dress had me feeling some sort of way, so I made you guys a playlist of my favorite songs for this upcoming fall. Happy Autumn!! (scroll down for my playlist)
Lots of kisses and cheers to everything that is coming!
Someone That Loves You by HONNE
Clearest Blue by CHVRCHES
Friends (Feat. Bon Iver) by Francis and the Light
I'm On Fire by Chromatics
Loud Places by Jamie xx
Villainy by Local Natives
ILYSB by LANY
Heartlines by Broods
Lofticries by Purity Ring
Thru Vallis Alps
Fineshrine by Purity Ring
Wrong by Max, Lil Uzi Vert
How to Love (Feat. Sofia Reyes) By Cash Cash
All We Ever Knew by The Head and the Heart
Rising Water by James Vincent Mcmorrow
I AM BACK I SAID. I spent this last week in San Francisco and it feels like one of those little flings you're blindsided by. My journey started without any intention of moving and ended with me falling head over heals for a city contested with traffic and laden with trash. WHY? I feel like I'm cheating on OKC with my new found love, San Francisco. With my new found love, also came my new fall wardrobe. Be prepared, because this might be the most basic post I've ever had. Off the shoulder blouses have been back for a while, let's say, a year or so but i thought it relevant to complete my ensemble with nude band aids. Like please ask me what happened. Okay okay, don't beg me twice. I got hit by a car while biking. But I'm totally fine. As you can tell it didn't stop me from a photo shoot in my favorite city. Also, I was totally against chokers, until I noticed how good I looked in one.. Just kidding, but not really. Sorry I'm trying to be super authentic on my blog. Just like all the basic American girls, I'm also wearing high-waisted jeans, because don't we all look good in them? But not on me for some reason, because my body shape is like a square ( and I thought I had all the good genes in the family ) ( STILL TRUE.) Also, another good thing about labor day being over, we can finally wear all the whites we've been dying to drag out of our closets. Another thing about me you should know, I don't follow the rules when it comes to fashion, especially during fashion week. So everyone pour yourself a glass of wine, wear all white and turn on fashion week. Cheers readers.
Also, If you're wanting my Choker, I'm making them for $6 each, Black and Grey only, You can order one by emailing me at Anguyen@privyandpeonies.com
Other than that, you can find my full outfit at UrbanOutfitters.com
Rings: Kendra Scott
Choker: Ann Nguyen
*Let me flip my hair*
Photography Credit: Josh Shriner